VALENTINE'S BLUES abi red???

DISCLAIMER POST: Do not read further!! Pls visit http://skills-pinokio.blogspot.com/ for disclaimer notice…THANKS!!
Done? who r u kidding? Be doing as if u actually read the DISCLAIMER…anyway, Welcome Guys, I see that I have somehow managed to get you to visit this blog once again by just posting a link on Twitter, ehn ehn? So its that easy to control mortals? I must be a god or something (buhahaha)! What if this is all u came here to see, what would’ve happened? U’ll sue me, unfollow me? But alas! I’m not as cold-hearted as that, ashualey, I am o! the last time I checked, I “had an ice-box where my heart used to be” *pops collar* oh yels, I’m a badt guy like that…

But I must at ths point appreciate you guys for always checking up on me here, it gets quite lonely in blogville nowadays, my neighbour @adahna ( http://dahnizrandom.blogspot.com/ ) is hardly around, I dunno the man that is taking her time away from here, @Sandie_Pandie ( www.craziepandie.com ) lives some streets away and does check on me often sha, @SheriphSkills http://skills-pinokio.blogspot.com/ is always at stadia, play or some other joint in Abj, ah well *sigh* @exschoolnerd (www.exschoolnerd.net) used to be my loyal crime partner around the ‘blogk’ ,up until she fell in love with Funbi …she’s our President here o so I cant complain but she’s cool like that. So, I’ve being visiting @MsJazzyfied ( www.tooxclusive.com ) quite often, we just chill on the steps and listen to @THEBEAT999FM all day, cool stuff I tell ya!!

Ok, having said thanks and all the introductory ish, let us now delve into the koko of d matter that has brought us here! It is summed up in one word “VALENTINE”!!! Yes! This one word has been/being (ive said I don’t know when to use either, so pick one n lezz continue)..where were we? Ok…this one word has wrecked so many potential futures- monetarily, relationship-ly, intimately and otherwise. Im not even going to try n go into d history of d day cos me sef I dunno, when did they born me dat u expect me 2 knw? Any story that works for u, believe jare! Anyway, Vals day is here again and if u’re a guy, u would agree with me that this is d one day we wish NEVER existed on the calendar! I’m Lying? See this guy o! ok bcos u don dey touch small money now abi, wait first naw, shebi dis is ur first official valentine..e go soon over u!! Seriously though 99% of us guys hate VALS day! Its not because of the money 2 b spent,(LIE!!!) its just it has a semblance of a well crafted SCAM that benefits the lady folk..ok, ladies before u chop my head off, I know u also do some ‘giving’ on the day BUT u only give when u’re sure that we are giving or have given… Alright, let me personalize this..I HATE VALS DAY!!!

DISCLAIMER: All views from this point on are strictly mine, your boyfriend did not ping me to ask me to do this so please don’t crucify him for sending you the link to this post. At the same time, if u r a lady or potential chic that is falling for me, don’t let this post change your mind- its all fiction, this is emmm..,just for laughs ok? Thanks for understanding!

Before u start thinking I’m just a selfish stingy SOB, take a walk in my shoes a bit will ya? My grouse with vals day has nothing to do with the spending (who am I kidding?), it ranges from the awkward display of ‘love’ that u see to the annoying hike up of prices of almost everything. It totally irks me when I come out of my house on feb 14th and everywhere u go, people are dressed up in red like aiyelala loyalists: as in red shirt, red shoes, all red everything, so because they said that ‘love is in the air’, it now means that we should not see road again abi? I swear, if I catch any of my followers or friends dressed in red…ok o! Then all these aiyelala people all seem to be headed to the same place: either an eatery, restaurant , cinema or joint..first of all, your foodstuff has finished at home abi? Rice and shicken that u ate on new years day here (bad as e bad), then to one cinema with 1000 other aiyelala people to watch one movie that we could have bought in Lekki traffic for #150 on a good day…abegi!! Do u see the extortion? Its annoying because it is on that day that your girlfriend remembers the ONLY scripture she knows: Jn 3:16 “for God so loved d world, that he GAVE…” she will stop at ‘gave’ and proceed to give u a Chris Okotie inspired exegesis on how love is proved by giving! As a bad guy sha, me sef I know bible: Ladies could you stop reading at this point or jump to d next paragraph thanks. So guys this is what u say when she uses this line- tell her: the bible says “GOD is LOVE”, Jesus and GOD are one, no be so? That means Jesus is also LOVE..so if God so loved the world and thus gave Jesus, It means God so loved d world and gave LOVE…so what God gave was love!!! Tell her “today I’m giving u love and I don’t have to spend money to do that! buhahahaha…(ensure ure well protected when u say this sha).

Welcome back ladies, sorry for pushing u out, I just had to tell your guy how best to meet your vals day needs and we wanted to keep it a secret, yeah, I have ur interests at heart, Thank me later! U know its true that as Vals day approaches, guys are looking for ways to break up, girls are looking for ways to be nicer.. Hey Guys!!! Guess what? ManU and Arsenal coaches are holding a press conference RIGHT NOW, u may wanna check that out…GO! GO! GO!!! good boys!

*now whispering* ladies if they know I told u what im about to, I’m DEAD, so please be quiet…sshhhhh*

Here are some things we often do to get away from our ‘responsibility’ , all we need to do are make up excuses of being busy, working late etc…here are some: they range from the mundane to the downright absurd
• we start complaining about our financial situation from jan 28th (or whenever salary is paid)t so that we can refer to it later by saying “remember how I told u I’ve been managing since, all d debts I had to clear with January salary…”
• we raise your hopes for a future explosion “mehn, if the money im expecting in march just comes…” whenever we avoid February, u should catch the drift!
• Now with BB, its easier for us to pass the message, all we need to do is put up ‘funny’ statuses and DP’s about how we are broke or anti-vals etc FORGET O!! those ain’t jokes, its our way of sending subliminal msgs to u
• When our ringtone and favorite song all of a sudden becomes “One naira by MI and Waje” or “Not the girl by darey”
• My BB is dead and u’re pinging me???
• “I have a lot going on right now, I need some time to get it all together”
• if u ever have a convo on BBM that looks like this, it’s a sign…

But if u’re one of the lucky few who are destined to have a great valentine’s day, then I am indeed happy for you. For the rest of us (yes u included, don’t form, u’re part of this group). We can still have a swell day even without a val, how? Not to worry…see, I don’t think u should torture yourself by going to places where you are definitely going to come across all these love birds. It makes no sense to wake up and then decide that u’re gonna go to the cinema all by yourself on such a day..Why? when u can just stay home jejely and watch ur movie if PHCN allows u o..Eateries are also out of it, u’ve been going to iya asisa’s place since o but bcos its vals day, u now decide to baff up n go to eat Chinese all by yourself!! Omo bone! Go to iya asisa and order n eat your fill abi na full..rice, eba, assorted toh kwoliti and wash it down wella!!! If u’re alone this val, don’t feel bad. Its ashualey a blezzin from God so that u can save money for your kid’s future academics etc..(I hear plenty hisses…buhahaha)

Another dilemma is GIFTS! Girls often wonder what to get their guys, their minds don’t seem to go beyond Shirts, boxers, perfumes and cufflinks, as in ahn ahn? What happened to X-box, Samsung 45” flat screen TV, iPad’s or a year’s subscription for our DSTV to enjoy the Premier league etc? seriously, we are tired of all d shirts, did I say I wanna start a boutique? On my birthday-shirt!, xmas-shirt! Wedding aso-ebi even Burial T shirt!!! And when u buy me boxers and u have never seen me in them, what’s the use? How do u know that u’re buying the right size sef? *side eye* I don’t want again! Perfumes, I’ve been shouting I want Terre D’Hermes and u ga’an buy ugo Boss..am I a phool? U expect me to actually wear that? Mtscheeew!! See, we are MEN! And we also have needs, we love big things, things our hands can work or fix (catch my drift?).

And guys, I know shopping for the ladies is always a task, not because we don’t know what to get but bcos the options are NUMEROUS!! Here’s a tip: NEVER ask your lady what she wants. NEVER!!! She will tell u all she wants and as she continues, she remembers those Jimmy Choos she saw justina wearing and the Brazilian hair Ronaldo’s gf used…u go just WRECK!!! Here are my sagely suggestions: Vals day is synonymous with Teddy Bears and flowers: do NOT buy any of these!! Except ure dating Miss Piggy and u wanna stylishly give her a gift that looks like her. No Flowers!! Na 9ja we dey so, that ish doesn’t fly, I don’t care whether d flowers were freshly plucked from the edge of the Nile..she wee use it to cook your next soup, just be looking!!! So what then should you get her? Really though, I might not be in d right position to tell you that but I’m going to whether u like it or not, afterall its MY BLOG and u’ve patiently read this far so a lil’ more wee not kee you..Ladies will always get gifts-they don’t need a special occasion! I think a lot of them are not so much crazy about what you get them (except it’s a LandRover 2 or HSE), Most just want you to spend your “currency of life” on them –TIME! Whether u take her to the movies or a Togolese restaurant, it’s the TIME spent with her that she really craves, she will still shit the green slimy soup 5hrs later so WTH? Guys whether na One Naira u spend or na One million, ensure that she can look into your eyes and say “Baby u’ve got me!” I really shouldn’t be writing this cos im now getting emotional seeing as im going to sokpa on Vals day as always, I’ll probably be watching Monday night football on TV while y’all will be whipping up sheets and stuff… *boo hoo sob sob*

Well, to round up this round up, I decided to sample opinions of some of my Tweeps, They are the one that RT’d this link to you because they want you to see EXACTLY what they want for vals day..hahaha..yes, this has been a set up all along. Now you can not say “I didn’t know what you wanted…”

Read and be Blessed…

@gigachic- “I want a romantic candle lit dinner for me and the one I love”
@eagiddy- “I want my very own man for vals day, not one who will walk away after a while, sm1 who wld call me bone of my bone..sm1 I can call my forever valentine”
@Rated_X- “I want jade and a 1998 bordeaux” cc @jade
@walegafar; “I want an ipad and a car noni”
@IvyOrji- “I want an Ipad and/or Chevrolet CRUZE cc @emperorcaesar “
@WF_SimonSeez- “I just want her to be here, make the plan, and make me go through with it and I’ll pick the Cheque!”
@bleezers- “I want a red All Star converse sneakers with a Transparent sole”
@sheriphskills – “ an Xbox kinnect and/or a pair of shoes/sneakers size 43 will do”
@misjuwa- “hey Cupid! We need to talk, I wanna know something…”
@tojubikz – “I want a getaway to somewhere new with friends where we can jst be kids again n enjoy nature”
@SlimSiren- “I want these books-‘Say you are one of them by Uwem Akpan’, The secret lives of Baba Segi’s wives by Lola Soneyin’ and an Easel
@Chyychy- “I want the perfume ‘Velocity’ by Mary Kay
@MsJazzyfied- “I want the perfume ‘Very Irresistible’ by Givenchy
@AdeYossie- “I just want time, no gifts, just attention and time spent together”
@lilmissfoy- “I want to be invited to lag by him, I want him to come out in the open and stop being shy, then he’ll flex me on the love boat thingy, movies, beach, shopping, he should be responsible n not pressure me to have sex with him cos nothing for him between my legs”
@SpitGucci- “I want a fancy dinner at Golden Gate”
@Sumbyjay- “I want any perfume from J’lo and a cake”
@JustAdivaa- “I just want an ipad”
@HUGOverified- “I want a sincere lady to woo me and val me”
@JunkyP- “I just want 100k, I dey find money jor”
@Le_Maxx- “ I want an Xbox pad battery and charger
@lilmissbeebee- "a pink PsP and gold pendant with my name on it
@BragginRightz “all I want 4val is for u to be here with me, I’ll make it up for these days we’ve spent apart, U are all I think about, U should know I need your love to hold me up when its all too much to bear, I just pray I’ll be here waiting when U come back, Happy Vals Soleil
@Lawrahh5 - "anything at all, its the thought that matters"
@M4minx - "Chocolate Fudge cake and Paco R's, 1m women's gift case (with the contents of course)


Its been a long post and if u’ve read this far, I really must appreciate your patience, endurance...i’m always humbled whenever im told “I love ur blog” it keeps me going..Thanks so much guys! God bless you!!!

So guys, Happy Valentines day but remember..this is just a day, let the Love go round all year through and oh! If u really think I’m gonna be alone this season, then ur brain needs to be checked by a dentist (go figure!)..its gonna be a wonderful threesome for me…hanging out with…ME , MYSELF & i…

To the haters and all those scanning for Gbagauns, if you actually think that your phraseology or parlance is at par with my lingo dexterity, then it is of plenary desideratum, inexorableness and extreme exigency that you unhesitatingly proceed for a cerebral appraisal…in simple english: Get your head examined! *Drops Mic and moonwalks away*

I'm Thankful!

Dateline: January 28th 198… 3:27am…A hospital in Surulere (though I tell people it was jand sha..)

Doctor: “Push ma’am, Push, just a little harder…I can see d head, yes PUSH!!

Lady: mmmhhhmm… what do u think im doing u punk?! Pulling?? Mmhhmm

Man: Honey, u can do it! YES U CAN (and u think Obama was d first? Hmm KMT) Just a lil’more..!! PUSH!!

Lady: mmhhmmm…one more word out of u and I swear next time, u’re d one going to be screaming while the Dentist PULLS out teeth from your mangled mouth..mmhmmm!!!

Doctor: It’s coming…It’s coming… c’mon…

Man: Yes!!! Yes!!! Ye… (hushes up as lady turns to look at him)

Lady: mtscheew!! Bunch of sissy’s, now stealing my lines…mmhmmm!!!
SILENCE!!! ( NEPA takes light)

Doctor: it’s a BOY…!!!

Man: isn’t he supposed to come out crying?

Lady: Hello? Can someone pls cut this line thingy?

Child: (looks around at all in the room) *sighs* “jeez! NEPA!! I’ve been scammed, this isn’t jand!”

Yeah, the above is the story of my birth as witnessed by me while coming outta d womb, whaddyu mean iz a lie, were u there? Was it your mother’s womb? Plix abegabegabeg leave my loif.. ehen jare, as I was saying…I’ve always been a crème kid (thanx 2d constant flooding of my embryo dwelling with cream, u get?)…and u can’t blame my shock and surprise when I came out and was greeted by immediate power outage. Ah ahn! As in,shock did not allow me cry sef and they were all staring at me waiting for me to cry, couldn’t they see (pun intended) that a more devastating thing had just occurred? NEPA: Keeping candle makers in business since 1960!! Smh…

So born, bred and buttered in lagos; Nigeria..life had to go on. Don’t be scared, this isn’t an autobiography on me (Chinamanda abi Chimananda) is working on that as you read, this is just a pause and an opportunity to look back and be thankful for some certain things in me life….Life they say is short, no wonder MI is living it to the fullest.

Some days away from now(depending on when u read this) is my birthday, I’ve had lots of them in the past (obviously) and every one of them provides me with d opportunity to plan ahead, receive gifts, have fun and hangout with those I love etc..This time though, for the sake of posterity I’ve decided to also look back and find some things to be thankful for and of course, share it with y’all. So indulge me will ya…

I’m thankful…

• For my parents doing the deed (im sure it happened while they were celebrating my dad’s birthday which is in April), I’ve done my calculations and it all adds up!…if they didn’t do when they did, maybe I won’t have been the lucky sperm

• For my mum who carried me about safely for 9 months without shame or gra gra...also cos she ate well and healthy, if not I would have come out looking like TerryG…drugged from the womb

• For the Doctor and Nurses at the hospital in Surulere who administered the right care although I really won’t have minded an AC tight room with DSTV for my first night on earth, is that too much to ask?

• For my big bro and sis who did not decide to throw me into a pit like joseph out of jealousy…They nurtured me till I was 4 and then jetted out of the country leaving me at the mercy of Iya Rashidi's kids next door as playmates, Thanx to my folks who refused me the opportunity to run round d street with my rainbow pant chasing tyre... I somehow managed to stay posh.

• For the people responsible for suggesting and giving me names during my naming ceremony…I’ve got 5 names by the way, Thank God none is Morufu, Testimony, Akpohwowo or such..u guys chose well.

• For my lesson teachers from Ghana that raised me in the lingua of Queen’s English..(shey u guys had Ghanian lesson teachers too abi?) I think most kids in lag did!...they’re also responsible for the fact that my pidgin English is WACK! I dey try sha on blogs and twirra.But in real life, i suck: like Angelina Jolie on Spaghetti (dry abi? thank u..ga'an write ur own)

• For my primary and sec sch days…the fact that I always came 1st (yeske dis is not a faboo) ...helped grow my confidence...i stopped coming 1st when I entered JSS 1 sha but my kids don’t have to know that, do they?

• For my first girlfriend ‘Ada’ in KG2… she taught me how to prove love- I always ate the remnants of sharpened pencil just 4 her and chalk was my mouth’s best friend, we broke up when I entered Nur 1

• For my second girlfriend ‘Omolere’ in Nur 2 who was my seatmate, we always played the “what is under my uniform game” …ehen, why r u looking at me like that? Didn’t you play it too? See pot calling brand new kettle black!

• For my friends down the years, some have stayed, others have strayed but facebook has an annoying way of making them find you..they will now be trying to famz again..mtschheeeww..

• For my church and the light it shone on my path...though that was where I met my first real girlfriend who gave me my first real kiss that led to my first real…iz not whatchuthink u perv’s…my first real petting session #ThatIsALL..The babe was in Vivian Fowler and if u have 'experienced' a vivian fowler girl here,i mean, the 'spirit' hovered over the 'dry land' and it became fruitful..i feel like preaching..can i get an AMEN! Thank u! pls sit down, we're just talking.she was also my first Val and she footed d bill o! Lord, i miss those days!

• For my University (UniBen) that taught me clearly through first hand experience that Jesus is the way, the Truth and the Life, Cult recruitment that I escaped by the whiskers..it was Matric day parry they called it..Me, i didnt know, it was woman (she wont read this so i can mention her name: Chichi) that carried me there o, i was in 100 level and was already setting my 'priorities'.She was in Law, i was in engineering (perfect).Darris how me i followed her, i didnt even get to dance with d girl sef cos she was HOT like that and bigger boys surrounded her..i vexingly left at 11.30pm, recruitment started past midnight…and if u heard of Uniben in 2003, u’d know that cult wasn’t moi moi or beans! I somehow, inspite of lotsa advances managed to stay out! Saw lots of people lose their lives around me in the most gruesome of ways but lets not dwell on that 2day..

• Still for Uniben and my campus fellowship that gave me leadership responsibility..all through till I rose to the peak position of president (no PDP rigging involved o..) y’all surprised? Don’t be..!!

• For my girlfriends in University: R,C,I ,those I had ‘interactions’ with; U,C,A,F…when I consider the money spent on y’all and the fact that I’m d one that is single now, it makes me wanna SCREAM!!! As in ah ah..after all was said, nothing was done! Decode that!!!

• For my first girlfriend in Uni: 'R' (we dated for almost 4 yrs, 100level-400level): she is getting married on Mar 5th..guess what guys, I’m gonna be the MC of that wedding..from potential groom to MC..how are the mighty fallen? I didn’t even get Bestman seeing as the Groom is my friend…eez a long tori jor…BTW, dyu know that the BESTMAN, originally from old tradition ought to be the guy who failed in the quest to get the girl? He plays the role as a sign of allegiance and honour to the new couple…think I’m kidding? Google that stuff! So ‘R’ im thankful for (1) bringing out d poet in me- I cant remember how many poems I wrote just 4 u, ensuring one was read to u aloud by your roommates at exactly midnight on ur birthday in ur hostel. (2) The struggle with @Rated_X for ur hand in relationship, Thanx for picking me sha…eat ur heart out X, we shall sit and share wine at d losers table on d wedding day *shrugs* (3) im also thankful for u o..being d FIRST girl to DUMP me, bcos u were about graduating n wanted 2 marry. That was 2007! Dis is 2011 . Na now u dey marry o!! mtscheeew God dey sha!! PLS IT IS NOT PAINING ME !!!

• For ‘C’…thanx for coming into my life after R stepped out, U are solely responsible for making me the man I have become today! YES U!!! Ahem!! U know it o..of course I still remember all, and in detail too..oh! sorry guys, did I leave u behind? My mind was doing a Bolton on me…as much as I would like to use some of these people’s twitter handles, wait…Let me ask ‘C’ for permission (at this point, I asked for permission ‘C’ said no problem!) but…find her amongst my followers, her handle starts with ‘S’ and ends with a vowel similar to one of those in towel

• For all the girls in between ‘C’ and ‘I’ that didn’t make the cut, thanks for filling in the gaps

• For ‘I’ my last relationship…details in previous posts abeg..

• For Obasanjo, thanx so much for bringing GSM to Nigeria and saving me from the hassles of NITEL cards and phone tapping- everytime my parents locked d phone to stop us from calling…y’all did that stuff too abi? Buhahaha… criminals!!!

• For all my GSM phones that kept me in contact with the world starting with my Sagem Mc920 – Nokia 3310-Motorola Talkabout-Samsung R220 (bluescreen)-Telital-Motorola V50-Nokia 6600 (my first coloured screen camera phone)-Sony Ericsson-Nokia 5300-Nokia n73-China TV phone (hehehe)-Nokia E71- Nokia 5330 (dstv)-BB.

Lets play a game shall we? Try and list out all the phones u’ve used in d comments area after commenting o!!!

• For cybercafés and the Internet that have now almost put NIPOST out of biz, what’s NIPOST? Kai!! Some of u have NEVER even been to the post office in your life…smh. Cybercafés that extorted us to open email addresses #200 to open e-mail a/c WTF??? (What’s that for?),..what did we do in cafes in those days sef? 250/hour to browse and chat with white people we dont know and we will be feeling cool with ourselves. shior!!… see why im thankful?

• For Hi5 and facebook: my first social network experience responsible for reconnecting me with almost extinct friends from the past, seeing how far they’ve come, the singles, married and knocked up. Really though, no matter how we might all ‘HATE’ Fb now, we cannot ignore d days of humble beginnings, the days when FB was the air we breathe, when we felt on top of d world whenever we paste a ‘smart’ quote and we get 70 comments; most of which are our own back and forth discussions…FB was our home, our drug, we sought for cheats to ensure we were always online, the blue and white interface brought undescribed joy to our days but all of a sudden, we can’t seem to ignore the abundant GBAGAUNS and meaningless chatter that goes on there nowadays..inboxes full of love letters of EPIC confusion…*naetoC’s voice “things are not d same..”

• And that brings me to Twitter, im thankful that there is a getaway called twitter (though I wonder how long b4 we all get tired of it or it gets infiltrated by FB peeps). Well for now, im so grateful cos here, I’ve met and I have the most wonderful family n friends. I cant mention handles cos i might leave some folks out, u guys are d bomb, For my nuclear Twitfam, u know urselves, Those i just met, #TeamOzone and those i'm yet to meet, u guys really rock!! As in, the opportunities are endless, whichever state in d country I am, I can hola @ someone and have a great time...here there are potential associates, biz partners and who knows after all this play-play and flirt-flirt, maybe a wife!

• Lastly but not lastly…(go figure), I wanna thank God for the gift of life and another year, I don’t just wanna MAKE IT COUNT, at the end, I wanna COUNT what I MADE of IT.

Its my birthday on the 28th of January peeps, feel free to DM credit, BBM credit, SMS credit, just gimme some friggin’ credit so that the ministry can keep moving!

Im popping a bottle of Swan water here on behalf of the GBAGAUN detectors and HATERS, im standing on the pavement of the 3rd mainland bridge, now pouring a drop into the ocean, when u find it, I’ll have your time…MTSCHEEEEW!!!

*Insert your favourite Africa Magic igbo Soundtrack here*

TO GOD BE THE GLORY

*Roll credits*

NO TITLE...i couldn't think of one!!!

The following takes place between 9am and 9.35pm..Events occur in real time…

Reason the events are occurring in such a long period of time is cos that’s how long it took me to complete the typing of this post, thanks to various occurrences such as PHCN outage which is a constant anyway, food break, toilet break, ping and Twitter breaks amongst others..if u are smart and sharp, u will discover that there was no girlfriend break or such..the reason isn’t far fetched, SCROLL down to the previous posts..and if ure feeling cool with urself at this point because u have a GF, don’t be too excited yet, wait till Feb 15th to rejoice…I’ve got a valentine post coming up and a lotta y’all will hate me after it but c’est la vie…

So wassup Utunnus (warreva that means), wats d koko? (warreva dat means), How’s ur sinzu? U know its amazing how we’ve just adopted these words into our lingo without knowing what they mean, if we were to write a dictionary, most of the words in it would have no definition! The world is becoming abbreviated lol…LWKM, LHKM, ish, appaz, ROTFLMAO, ROTFLMBBO, IHP4P, NHTTL…if u can decipher the last 2 words by the way, I’ll celebrate you in my next post..okies then, its been a drab kinda week for me..was down with fever caused by food poisoning earlier in the week but im back up cos u cant keep a good man down utunnu!! Shout out to all my tweeps that shouted out @ me @bleezers, @spitgucci @Msjazzyfied amongst others…u’re far too kind.

This post however isn’t about me (yellss I’m humble like that!), it’s a deviation from my normal (but I ain’t so normal so *shrugs*) I want to address an issue of serious economic importance that requires grade A consideration and observation, a situation that will not be given due hearing in the chambers of our judiciary but can and will be addressed here at the location of the convergence of this audience. its about a cankerworm that has eaten deep into the thick fabric of our society, its about the ‘disma pisma’ that erodes our very existence, an ‘incredible missile’ darris slowly wrecking apart one ‘kelly and some’ cohorts of his…*exhales* Ok, if at this point u still don’t know what im saying then u really should stop reading right now and #slap yourself..done? Good!! Scrolling through my TL during the week and I came across the story brewing up that Kelly hansome (?) (why d guy no spell d handsome complete, im dey fear?) had come out with a diss track for MI…my first reaction was to smh..as in u know that kind of shaking when small pikin no wan hear word..yeah! that kind!! You know, I always remind you that this is MY blog and the opinions expressed here are purely mine ehen! Because im about to express another one and darris that whether u like it or not, MI and Kelly hansome no be mates as in not even the same class…u know d rest.

My 2nd reaction was “why won’t Oga Kelly just pick on someone his own size?” (pun intended but sha, I really don’t understand when this is applicable..true o!) I think that the money Oga maga paid some years ago has finished..ehn no yawa naw! He should have decided to battle someone like ‘Konga’ or ‘Rasqie’ or better still met Oga Olu maintain to show him the way, by the way, there’s only one Kelly that me I know o and that’s R.kelly!..back to size, Oga Kelly had already entered d history books as one who ‘STOOD UP’ to MI in times past, why did he have to do it again?, now its becoming clearer that irrespective of height, MI stands head and shoulders far above Oga Kelly lyrically!!! Pls if u’re looking for fair hearing, u won’t get it here o, wait for @ifreke to do Twitter round up or watch 9’o clock news bcos im totally #TeamMi..don’t like eet? Do a Kelly hansome (shoot urself in the chest!)

So Oga Kelly writes on his Twitter page how his album has sold 5 million albums and is still selling 0_0 , me I’m like egbami o! really? Pls warris d name of d album o? cos d only hansome song I’ve heard is Maga don pay…Its not as if I don’t like Oga Kelly but if u wanna go head-to-head with MI, at least make sure you pack some punches. I got the link to the song and decided to DL it and listen for myself…you can DL it here:
http://www.4shared.com/audio/g5BKMgLI/KELLY_HANDSOME_-_FINISH_YOU_BO.htm

Eventually after listening, I agreed with @ThelmaTweets who said she would have spent the 3:59secs picking her nose instead…I mean, where were the punches? Bash Ali would have done a better job abeg…“Yes I am kelechukwu, Kelly hansome is handsome…MI2’s so dumb, so many features on the album, wack tracks the outcome..how come?...Ur whole album sounds like a mixtape, Flavour on the track was ur only escape.. short like a maltina bottle, like wande im’ma make ur fat black ass model…” (yawns) He also took shots at jesse jagz, ice prince and Wande coal (who had sweetly put him in his place in the “who born the maga song”) re: “…Why u con dey find wetin no find u, put ur mouth for wetin no consign u, u be arsenal, omo I be manU , u con dey vex because we dey outshine u..i don’t wanna harm u, no be threaten, na d truth I dey yarn u…before my fans go gather up handle u, u go think say na molue jam u…”

I’m not one to shout wolf when there’s none! IMO, the first MI album was better than this, MI2 was greatly hyped and anticipated, me sef I join hype am on twitter and it trended, it doesn’t take away the fact that there are great songs on it (epic, imperfect me, wild west etc) I don’t think oga Kelly would have been able to pull it off even with d help of the Mo Hits hype man..(that fat guy that dances galala so well)..Well while Oga kelly’s album is still selling, MI just received a 20 million naira cheque for selling the marketing rights of the MI2 album not to talk about record sales and royalties…Bottomline of this post is this sha, I think Oga Kelly should concentrate on releasing an album we know about instead of trying to get cheap publicity by ‘attacking’ Choc Boys and Mo hits…MI should also realize the strategy and be smart enough not to be drawn into a word exchange…and we fans should sit back and be entertained whatever d case may be…by the way, at the time of this post, Kelly RANsome’s followers had increased to 1803 after the diss track, MI still has only 32,800+ Wish 'em both the best though but really again, Ogs kelly should ga'an diss konga and Rasqie to help their careers! (don't count on it sha)

Here’s something to look forward to though, Feb 14th is around d corner, I know where im gonna be sha..home alone (yeah its Kevin baby!)..i’m gonna be doing a special (hopefully) on things to expect from your guys 4d ladies and things to get for your ladies 4d guys..these things range from excuses to gifts..BUHAHAHA (my evil laff)..so u can like to stay tuned for that and tell your friends abourrit as well.

Anyway, like I always say sha, those who come here to look for gbagauns to feed on, u sure will be constipated by the time u’re thru with this one…so quoting from the subject of the day “go boil stone, it will cure your sickness or maybe u should focus on your business” mtscheeew….

Comment o after reading before i "finish you boy/girl"

@KevinWithAnL

*sound sultan's voice* 2011 don come...

2011… The year is finally here, A year so eagerly anticipated by many just fr the sole reason of having a new excuse to start again..As is customary, it has been christened in various ways: to some its “2000 and heaven”, others say it is “2000 and elevation” , “2000 and hammer” Churches of course are not left out “tagging” the year “The year of divine Upliftment” (does this mean rapture?), “The year of breakthrough” (yawns), “The year of supernatural increase”…etc..i remember one year tagged “The year of Greater light”-me I thought that will mean NEPA will do well (for where?) *rme* Obviously, im not a fan of tags and slogans, though they are good for direction, they end up just being door and car stickers by February when d harsh reality of dis 9ja wey we dey so begins to hit!

Anyway guys, Happy new year..and I do pray that whatever it is you desire, as you work towards, u shall accomplish (Amen). Ok so straight to the issues at hand (u would think I really have smtn serious 2say…smh), The year kinda started slow though, I can boastfully say that I spent my crossover night on Twitter..well till 11.30pm when I snuck away to have some quiet time with God, yes o, He and I have a great relationship like that…i was done at about 12.10am and I patiently waited for my first call of d new year..omo I waited o! nothing!! Eventually, twas my dad that called on his way back from church…Next to call was @eagiddy, a tweep of mine..i was practically sleep talking so I cant even remember d nature of d conversation (I hope I didn’t tell her how endowed I am sha).. so after the last blog update, I had like the highest no of readers ever and some people even started ff me on Twitter as in ME! I haff die!! My head was bursting from all corners (no o, I don’t have ikechukwus kind of head o..haba!!)..Twas a nice feeling and I want to thank all y’all that endure the mental torture of reading my scroll and all y’all that RT the link, tanx a bunsh..shout out to @exschoolnerd @walegafar @ifreke..etc
Mainwhile, yelss..i made some decisions on January 1..not resolutions!

- I haff decided to stop kneeling down, as u saw in my last post..don’t ask me wat that means jor..u wanna koba me, basically mii r’aye gbogbo long tin yen..
- I haff also decided to work towards getting married in 2012, I dunno how dis will happen but we also didn’t know a black man will ever preside over America so *shrugs*..talking bout America, I hear Barry and Michelle are fans of Rihanna as someone overheard some bed talk going on:
Barry: what’s my name?
Michelle: Oh ba ma
Barry: whats my name?
Michelle: Oh ba ma
Now, we hear that aunty Michelle is preggers, correct guy, no slacking I hope it’s a boy sha..a black boy in d white house..dem dey craxe!!!
- I haff decided to live my life like its golden, not giving a hoot what any Tom,Dick or Sheila thinks.
- Decided I haff to register,vote and defend my vote (I dunno how I want 2 protect it cos I’ll rather go n seek refuge if kasala burst..ehen!)

Enough of my decisions, that’s not #whywearehere, its still early in the year but already there’s so much going on...some days ago a broadcast was circulated about May 21st, I didn’t actually get d broadcast, I guess peeps have understood my stance on them, but I saw it on some status updates so I decided to google ‘may 21st and voila! It says the world is gonna end on that day! Scared yet?? Now, I know the bible says “no MAN knows the time or hour” but it don’t say anything abt no COMPUTER PROGRAM so it got me thinking for a bit…what if the world DOES end that day? Where am I going? Ozone, Play. Aristotle, Silverbird, Heaven, hell… So if it does end, I wont marry? I wont have d pleasure of kpoxing my wife on a daily basis and in every area of d house, stairs, kitchen, garden…? Ah! No o!! as in this is d reason D’banj sang that olorun maje song…if it does end, we wont even have the pleasure of swearing in a new president, Arsenal will not be crowned league and champions league winners (pls forget that barca rubbish, we will handle them,just dey watch na). If the world ends…the list is endless.

I can imagine the trending topics on Twitter the day before: #MyLastWords #IfWeSurviveTomorrow #MyConfessions #IfTheWorldEnds… it will be totally hilarious, many will not sleep, im sure that day will be sex free worldwide (who wants d trumpet to blow while u sef ure blowing?) or u’re shouting “God,I’m cuming, I’m cuming while at it...and God replies “Continue, u’re not among jor”.. But let not your hearts be troubled, whether its may 21st 2011 or sep 28th 2012, it don’t make no difference, it could as well be tomorrow, bottomline is that whenever it is, we are ready to go…so I ignore d dates and focus on living everyday like its my last, u should too!
So my people, that’s about it for this edition sha, u can like to tune in next time, same place i.e same BB or PC or Mobile Phone to view d next post. If this or any other post has been a ‘blessing’ to you, pls tell your friends abourrit…

And for my GBAGAUN seekers, heres a piece of advice from the deepest crevices of my pulmonary artery located near the palpitation producing organ aptly called Mon Coeur (French for my heart)…If iz paining you that im blogging or theres Gbagaun here, I can’t say u shd go and hug transformer cos nowadays PHCN have succeeded in ensuring there’s steady supply of NO power so u can try sending Yahoo Messenger message to report me…mtscheeew!!!#OkBye

END OF YEAR POST...

WARNING: This edition is gonna be exhaustive and cumbersome, it is also Rated ‘TWITTER’ cos it constitutes of lines of severe intellectual depth and subliminals, IQ’s of FB are hereby advised to quit reading cos im sure u’re already lost…Ah! Shucks…who am I deceiving?

I remember 364 days ago this day, how expectations were high, everyone grateful for a year ending and expectant of the one about to roll in…Fast forward 365 days later and here we are at the threshold of the dawn of another year (I love it when I sound like this, it makes me feel so brilliant…hahaha)..Ok, back to reality…This day (December 31st 2010) is one we will NEVER see again…its one that will have lots of people streaming into church (some for the first time), others cos its d normal end of year tradition to spend it in the presence of God and hear what Pastor will declare the year to be, and yet for some others, its just yet another day to do more cooking and expect the inevitable annoying visitors that will come to your house the next day!

2010 has been abi na has being a very eventful year for me but I’m gonna skip all the events that have shaped the year and delve into the reason why we are here..when I look back on this year some hours from now, my greatest joy won’t be at the amount of money I made, the amounts of hearts I broke, the achievements or awards…my greatest joy will be seeing all the people I call my friends and family make it into the new year with me! Every other thing lost can be recovered but friends and family are gifts u can never have again when lost…On BBM, im sure u must have received the presently annoying broadcast of “ping me if ive offended u so I can say I’m sorry before the year runs out”, the one of yesterday was “send me credit if ive offended u so I can call and apologise”…the Broadcasts will keep coming, however since this is my blog and I can say wharreva I like (if u vex, u can ga’an hug Optimus prime), I’m gonna be ‘talking’ about all of u..letting out my steam so that I don’t take it into d new year..ths might be quite revealing so if u have a short tolerance span, this will be a nice point to gerraway…

This edition is dedicated to my friends on Twitter cos y’all have made my 2010 worth every minute..ure d reason im addicted to it, I want to always check up on my Twives in the morning when I wake, I want to see who @ero9ja is bullying today, what @SpitGucci has to say etc…God help me!! Ayt before we head into the shout outs and exposes..lemme do a quick update since the last post..Appaz, as the holidays wound up for me, there was one last gathering to attend..a simple outing day for me eventually turned into a Tweep gathering at E-center, I had originally planned to see a movie there after doing some biz for my dad earlier in d day, but plans changed a day before when I discovered that a lot of tweeps were gonna be meeting there, I think it started with @vivisleek and @Chyychy and then it just snowballed down to all our TL’s..a lot of people on my TL are pervs sha cos 95% (me excluded o…I’m a saint like dat) just came to confirm if @vivisleek is as ‘endowed’ as her avatars show..incase u don’t know, her avatars are always pics of ass and nothing more..so u catch my drift eh? Ok..u’re a perv too!! So long story short sha, Twas madt fun, met a whole lot of tweeps and lets now jump into the shout outs and exposes shall we?

*insert jump here*

Here we go…

The story of my 2010 will not be complete without the star actor of this blog..infact she is d reason I changed this blog from a normal informative thing to this online diary sometin..

‘Barbie’..im sorry guys but I cant mention her handle yet..but if u scrutinize d fine girls on my list, she’s definitely d first that will pop out..Lovely sense of humour, sharp tongued, witty, BEAUTYfull, Spirit filled Arsenal lover (yay!) u’ve been a hard nut for me to crack in 2010, friends since 2003, weve come a long way..here we are abt to add another year and all I ask *now kneeling before this tweet audience, no ring in hand though* is that you give me a chance to enjoy the rest of your life with you…i really do love you and I know we can make this work…I’m crazy? Yeah I know! U’re SYB, Yeah I know too!!!

@gigachic…As far as im concerned, the wittiest, funniest lady on twitter, but in real, the sweetest lady I know..pretty, with a voice to die for, jeez!!! As in eh..and her giggles are heavenly…thanks for August –November, I will NEVER forget..ure one of my TOP blessings of the year..i hope, I still get 2 be chief bridesmaid o..yels ke!! Love u babes

@Anniefertiti …a TRUE friend in every sense of d word, Guys she’s the SI unit of sarcastic, yet I haven’t met any so caring, she literarily nursed me through my downtimes and has proven to be a friend in deed, e remain in NEED…(jokes)..an interesting tweep with a knack for ‘stealing’ all my male friends even in reality o..all of them just get attracted to her…love ya still..Guys she’s single o..u can like to add her and who knows tomorrow…

@Sumbyjay… everytime I see u on my TL, I smile cos u just dey talk ur own on d twitter sha eg: “ah!where r this people?” “they r not here now o” “later they will be looking 4 me” “mtschheeeew”…a real friend uve proven to be n like I said, I cant wait to send my kids to Aunty Sumbo’s for holidays..love u so much and my respect for u eh…file!! Don’t tosh it!!!

@1Rated_X …My brotha from anotha mother, Bond himself..nuttin do u o guy! Smooth, savvy, dapper, doesn’t tweet much but is one hell of a sarcasticTwit (pun intended), He thinks he’s God’s gift too women but d annoying thing is he learnt all he knows from me..this guy can flirt as in..hmm..his own pass me, at least my own ends on Twitter but his own..iz a long tin o! hailings boss..

Ok, the above peeps are ‘awon temi’ as in..we’ve come a long way..so now lets jump again into tweeps on my TL

@bleezers…Tall, fair and hansome..I like u o guy, especially ur sleepy eyes..it can trip any girl, ur tweets are sensible and meeting u was a delight..i’ve got ur back sha stop jumping from one of my friends to d other..make up ur mind, is it @sumbyjay, @Eselyzo11 or @serkce…haba!!!

@ThelmaTweets… if ure not ff her, guys ure on expired panadol as in WTF (what’s that for?)…she’s RAWer than WWF, she arouses u in the morning, keeps u aroused all day and sustains the arousal all 9t (is u dat know wat arouse means o!)..and her avatars eh…don’t let ur mum caych u staring oh..shes been a true friend to me and her heart is so pure but her mind eh..i love so much babes, Tx for keeping me sane

@engee01… fine girl, ebony black chic (simon, u shouldn’t read this o!) met her for d first time at ozone but she’s my Twife sha…gr8 sense of humour, oh! I know simon is here, I can’t now say that her hips don’t lie..shes great tweeple…Mwah!!

@BragginRightz… dis one is a confirmed kolo boy (not surprising tho), fun tweep, if u don’t like his choice of words, u can open ur own twitter..he’s my guy sha.. he’s a ladies man too

@m4minx… I have a confession..if wikileaks ever leaks my DMs, the ones ive had with dis lady will crucify me, HINT: shes calabar *ahem* moving on..shes cool, met 4 d 1st time at ozone, also dsnt tweet much but shes fun fun fun, and her mind is no garden of eden sha..nuff said! Love ya

@HUGOverified… pls if ure not ff this ONE, stop reading here and go and ff…Twitter flirt toh badt, dis one is just gone, he’s finished, he’s a proud womanizer, requesting kisses everywhere..but great person, met him @ ozone too..he dsnt send o, imagine he came to ozone with pam slippers and cos of dat d bouncers at koko lounge didn’t allow us enter…weyrey!!!

@Spitgucci… don’t ask me whether he spits a lot or he’s always wearing Gucci..all I know is, he’s a live wire..cool dude, nice dress sense..guy, I scrutinize ur avatars and ure always on point! Met @ ozone and d ladies seem to like him sha..but dude, methinks ure kinda shy with ‘em..if na me eh..hmmm..ok o!

@Chyychy… small but mighty chick..she can GBAGAUN u on twitter so think b4 ff, shes quiet when u meet her but those of us with minds like these, yet quiet on d outside r d dangerous ones o..she’s a stunner too…are u single?

@WF_SimonSEEZ… Pronounced ‘world famous simon says’ …met @ ozone… cool dude, as in im be like chairman, plenty money and things…he’s a regular tweep, not too often like some of us..he tweets sense and from his tweets, I can tell he’s totally careful not to yarn dust..he shocked me when he said he read my blog, I’m like really?? People read this? I’m honored bro…that word alone has motivated me to keep boring y’all with my stories..

Omo, I dey yawn o (its 2.43am now)

@Le_Maxx… Barrister lawyer that im sure is an olodo, this one can be trying me on dis twitter, dis place will not contain us as in ma kpa e da’anu … lol…I enjoy max and I always look 4wd to his tweets so I can jump on em and say somthin annoyin…he makes sense, he’s a fine yellow boy ladies, I dunno if he’s single sha but he used to like women those days in UNIBEN…big ups bro and do quick and marry @bukiola if shes d one..dont be flooding my TL with her RT

I know theres plenty people I haven’t mentioned as in explicitly but u all contributed to my great adventure of 2010, tweeps like @Eselyzo11 @jemieyt @exschoolnerd @JustAdivaa @ifreke @walegafar @MsJazzyfied @lilmissbeebee @JussBasco @DpEsho @lilmissfoy @lafeyethe @ScriptKidd @ero9ja @schwetiepie @mamustam @honaiy @serkce @Benxxx2 @lhanray @tobiamoo @FunmiFatona @SheriphSkills @vivisleek.. etc

I’d appreciate it if we all could add any tweep listed here who isn’t on ur list so we can become one big happy Twamily..thanx ..iz a suggestion o, I am not by-forcing you! If I didn’t mention your handle, plixt don’t vex, there’s no shekpe in this system right now…d sleep darris cashing me is not here..

I love u guys so much…the curtains are being drawn on 2010..and my prayers for us are that – Twitter will NEVER crash (abeg DM me ur pins after reading just incase..seriously), NETWORK (MTN) will stop frustrating us, U will have money to subscribe, for those without BB, u will buy BB, for those who want iPad, well start with BB…

God keep us all…see y’all in 2011…Happy new year guys!

please do drop a comment...the feedback helps...tnx

In the spirit of the season, I won’t tell u anything if u’re looking for Gbagaun, I’m sure ive left a lot for u to find…enjoy!!!

TWITERAVE and STUFF 1

My people, this time it really has been a while but abeg its not easy to write abi blog..its even harder when u’re on Twitter which is our ‘blog-on-the-go’ program…Also being in lag doesn’t even make it any easier cos there are (in my case) lots off distractions.

I’ve been in lag and a lot has happened after ‘The experience’ but im’ma try to remember it all and put it up here for my reference and your viewing pleasure..so appaz (that’s new lingo for apparently) the trips started for me as I attended barbie’s induction into N.I.M (yeah she’s smart like that)..from there, we ‘controlled’ @Eselyzo11 , @Sumbyjay and @bleezers...Lemme deviate here and introduce you to @bleezers, he’s a great guy, met him on twitter and he seemed like a great guy plus I think he’s having/had a thing for my friend @sumbyjay…so after induction rites and ish, we all headed to Ozone to do a movie and just hang out..my goal was just to give Barbie a good time in lag..so we get there and decide to do ‘Social Network’..great movie by the way, lotsa sarcastic lines and stuff…we had a ball and it was worth every minute…sometimes, just being with the ones u care for makes u feel more alive..

That was actually the last time I gotta see her before she travelled back outta lag..and call me chicken or yella but I still didn’t bring up any heart issues..so im back to square one In lag and I just had to find events to fill up my calendar for the remaining days of my holiday…Appaz (yeah that word again..) there was a Twitter party coming up on the weekend, also my secondary sch reunion and weddings too..i had to choose which to attend, decided to do Twiterave and d reunion and beach party on Sunday…

The decision to attend Twiterave was borne outta d desire to just meet new people especially some peeps on my TL..so Saturday night 11pm at Number 10..before then though, I dropped in to Galleria around 7pm to do a movie..got there late but couldn’t cos d movie had started already, so I waltzed into the sports bar and chilled watching barca humiliate someone 5-1…spotted a chic playing snooker, looking all ‘set’..all I could say was “only in lagos” and I licked my lips..Got to number 10 around 9.30pm for the blue carpet thingy…yels o, I’m a celebrity toh badt..paparazzi cameras flashing and thingz..had to check my name on the guest list, standing between two agberos bouncers was the most innocent and sekcy doormen doorlady I had ever seen…she wasn’t too tall though, so while looking for my name, I had fun checking her out..*wink*…walking in and discovered I was sooo early..chilled at the bar and after getting tired of waiting, walked out to get some air..
While waiting, I saw her and it was so so easy to recognize her cos she definitely STANDS OUT..yeah @exschoolnerd came towards me and we exchanged pleasantries, introductions and all…she was also tired of the whole waiting thing and oh yeah…she was tired after attending funturf earlier in the day. Still chilling together and @toptosyn comes over, looking all dapper (more intros done)..engaged in chit-chat while waiting for Tweeps to turn up..and then doorlady leaves her post and comes towards us and I didn’t dull o…introduced myself (sharply) and discovered she’s @JustAdivaa…

Long story short sha, somehow somehow, I assisted @justAdivaa at door duties, had lots of red bull to keep me awake and agile..eventually joined in the parry but it was kinda like groupies and stuff and for people like us who came alone, we were seriously on a long tin…chilled with @exschoolnerd and @justAdivaa all thru, danced with myself and we (me n myself) had fun..met @walegafar who also chilled with us..stayed there till about 5am…it was fun but could have been better IMO…

Pls eh…Sleep is catching me right now, cos its Christmas night and im Uber tired but before I go , lemme South Shout to some people who have made my blog worth writing…

Eve..though u’ve found a Quality guy..u will always hold a special place in my heart and I mean ALWAYS!! Merry Xmas

Barbie…though u’re listed second, U know that U r (not officially yet sha) my number one and I don’t believe in Santa but u’re one Gift I want wrapped in ‘forever’…Merry xmas

Iris…what can I say? My ever reliable pyramid…love ya

@Sumbyjay…put simply, ure one of my bright spots of 2011…im blessed to know u

@bleezers…guy, lookin fwd to a deeper friendship in 2011

@exschoolnerd…tanx for clogging my TL and for not being stuck up when we met…ure good people, looking fwd to a real friendship in 2011

@ThelmaTweets a breath of fresh air, a true friend…if only tweeps cud enjoy u like I do, but I aint ready to share sha…love u

Ok..the list ain’t done, I’ll do a follow up probli before the new year…

This sleep is wrapping me up mehn so pardon the gbagauns u’ll see but if u don’t wanna pass, its my blog, I can gbagaun all I want while u can like to use Vaseline to fry dodo…mtscheeew!!!

EXPERIENCE

Its a new week, and one that bears no semblance to those passed away..it probably has to do with the fact that im back to the city of my birth: LasGidi..here tranquility envelopes me and the hustle and bustle of the city makes me greatful that my heart still beats (though as i write this, im experiencing serious chest pain, dunno why)..im listening to 'Wild Wild West" by MI and the deep lyrucis and serene instrumentals are seeping through my every pore and fuelling an inner feeling that i cant describe...

Ok..lemme get this together, back in lag and the fun has already started..oh! a lil info bout my trip to lag..had to do a road trip cos mehn to fly now @ dis red december period wouldn't be a prudent decision..i wasnt alone on d trip though..had d pleasure of 'riding' with Barbie..yup! 4 hours of alone time! and u would think i would jump at the oportunity and go on and on about how i feel and all that, so did i? NOPE!!! why? well cos, iBelieve that what needs to be said has been said and i aint one to flog a horse..i just STRONGLY respect d words she told me when i brought up d issue d last time: "Theres Nothing to talk about"
We did have fun on the trip though most of it was spent with our heads down tweeting to each other and pinging (God help us from this BB madness...i loved every minute and i wish the trip didnt end but alas! it did and we parted...

So,after getting off, i started anther long trip to d island..eventually got in around 6pm cos of the lekki traffic hold up..picked up grub at Mr Biggs and bla bla bla...

Friday evening was the EXPERIENCE and oh boy! was it an experience..got to TBS at about past 5, twas s'posd to start at 7pm but trust naw, the whole place was almost filled to the brim..lagos get people sha..ah ahn!!! Barbie was somewhere in d midst of the 500,000 people and i had to find her (what are d odds?) but as a very good badt guy, even with the epileptic network connection due to d fact that everyone everywhere seemed to be trying to call somebody somewhere..i was able to locate her! yes ke..im gangsta like that! I'm gonna skip all d yadi yada happenings in between...we got great 'seats' facing the stage..these seats were actually a constructed platform made of wood and erected upwards in a stadium like manner (u dig?) hold this picture in ur mind cos i'll come back to it..there we met @Sumbyjay and her friends..and @Sumbyjay was looking all good and em...i know she'll read this so i wont say more cos we are fighting now....While waiting for the EXPERIENCE to begin, we decided to look for @ThelmaTweets who had promised us cans of Fayrouz..i wasnt actually interested in d favrouz but my curiosity was etched on the fact that i wanted to CONFIRM that the things i see on her twitter DP are for real and not some work of photoshop and YES!! seeing her erased all doubts!!! We got the Fayrouz and i got a really tight bear hug as in eh...@ThelmaTweets is a great girl..nice spirit, fun and em..endowed too..i spent time with her later on...

On the whole, the EXPERIENCE was great..i danced eh..as in even me sef iTire for myself, d worship was on point..at some point, all i could wish for was that everyone there would be in eternity when it comes but...the whistling and vuvuzelas would have raised the dead without stress..just so d dead can ask to be allowed to rest in PEACE! Barbie and @Sumbyjay had to leave around 1am..and their departure took out the fun from my location..one abi two yoruba guys now came to take their seat as in all these native buba and sokoto wearing people..i mean: who wears buba and sokoto to a concert? they just came n started sleeping n snoring adding to the whistling and vuvuzelaing...i just quickly relocated to meet @ThelmaTweets and there i met @Tobiamoo cool dude..and i loved d fact that he got his worship on..all y'all that judge us Twitter folk should have a rethink: Never judge a person by their tweets, u dont know who they are in person..he seems like good people and he's a gunner..yay!!

I left for home around 4.30am...tired, fulfilled and blessed...The most amazing experience for me wasnt any of the ministrations, or the Presidents speech or any of the prayers neither was it meetng @ThelmaTweets nor hanging with Barbie or @Sumbyjay...Remember our 'seats?' my biggest trip was that inspite of the mammoth number of people that were seating, standing and dancing on that wooden structure and inspite of the way it seemed like it would give in to our weight...God somehow held it together..(dont give me any engineering explanation) the catastrophe would have been incredulous if it had collapsed...My conclusion is that whatever is kept in God's hands, He's able to keep..

Have a great week...

looking for Gbagauns? have a field day cos im sure u'll find many, when u're done u can like to use cement to do face powder....mtscheeeew