*sound sultan's voice* 2011 don come...

2011… The year is finally here, A year so eagerly anticipated by many just fr the sole reason of having a new excuse to start again..As is customary, it has been christened in various ways: to some its “2000 and heaven”, others say it is “2000 and elevation” , “2000 and hammer” Churches of course are not left out “tagging” the year “The year of divine Upliftment” (does this mean rapture?), “The year of breakthrough” (yawns), “The year of supernatural increase”…etc..i remember one year tagged “The year of Greater light”-me I thought that will mean NEPA will do well (for where?) *rme* Obviously, im not a fan of tags and slogans, though they are good for direction, they end up just being door and car stickers by February when d harsh reality of dis 9ja wey we dey so begins to hit!

Anyway guys, Happy new year..and I do pray that whatever it is you desire, as you work towards, u shall accomplish (Amen). Ok so straight to the issues at hand (u would think I really have smtn serious 2say…smh), The year kinda started slow though, I can boastfully say that I spent my crossover night on Twitter..well till 11.30pm when I snuck away to have some quiet time with God, yes o, He and I have a great relationship like that…i was done at about 12.10am and I patiently waited for my first call of d new year..omo I waited o! nothing!! Eventually, twas my dad that called on his way back from church…Next to call was @eagiddy, a tweep of mine..i was practically sleep talking so I cant even remember d nature of d conversation (I hope I didn’t tell her how endowed I am sha).. so after the last blog update, I had like the highest no of readers ever and some people even started ff me on Twitter as in ME! I haff die!! My head was bursting from all corners (no o, I don’t have ikechukwus kind of head o..haba!!)..Twas a nice feeling and I want to thank all y’all that endure the mental torture of reading my scroll and all y’all that RT the link, tanx a bunsh..shout out to @exschoolnerd @walegafar @ifreke..etc
Mainwhile, yelss..i made some decisions on January 1..not resolutions!

- I haff decided to stop kneeling down, as u saw in my last post..don’t ask me wat that means jor..u wanna koba me, basically mii r’aye gbogbo long tin yen..
- I haff also decided to work towards getting married in 2012, I dunno how dis will happen but we also didn’t know a black man will ever preside over America so *shrugs*..talking bout America, I hear Barry and Michelle are fans of Rihanna as someone overheard some bed talk going on:
Barry: what’s my name?
Michelle: Oh ba ma
Barry: whats my name?
Michelle: Oh ba ma
Now, we hear that aunty Michelle is preggers, correct guy, no slacking I hope it’s a boy sha..a black boy in d white house..dem dey craxe!!!
- I haff decided to live my life like its golden, not giving a hoot what any Tom,Dick or Sheila thinks.
- Decided I haff to register,vote and defend my vote (I dunno how I want 2 protect it cos I’ll rather go n seek refuge if kasala burst..ehen!)

Enough of my decisions, that’s not #whywearehere, its still early in the year but already there’s so much going on...some days ago a broadcast was circulated about May 21st, I didn’t actually get d broadcast, I guess peeps have understood my stance on them, but I saw it on some status updates so I decided to google ‘may 21st and voila! It says the world is gonna end on that day! Scared yet?? Now, I know the bible says “no MAN knows the time or hour” but it don’t say anything abt no COMPUTER PROGRAM so it got me thinking for a bit…what if the world DOES end that day? Where am I going? Ozone, Play. Aristotle, Silverbird, Heaven, hell… So if it does end, I wont marry? I wont have d pleasure of kpoxing my wife on a daily basis and in every area of d house, stairs, kitchen, garden…? Ah! No o!! as in this is d reason D’banj sang that olorun maje song…if it does end, we wont even have the pleasure of swearing in a new president, Arsenal will not be crowned league and champions league winners (pls forget that barca rubbish, we will handle them,just dey watch na). If the world ends…the list is endless.

I can imagine the trending topics on Twitter the day before: #MyLastWords #IfWeSurviveTomorrow #MyConfessions #IfTheWorldEnds… it will be totally hilarious, many will not sleep, im sure that day will be sex free worldwide (who wants d trumpet to blow while u sef ure blowing?) or u’re shouting “God,I’m cuming, I’m cuming while at it...and God replies “Continue, u’re not among jor”.. But let not your hearts be troubled, whether its may 21st 2011 or sep 28th 2012, it don’t make no difference, it could as well be tomorrow, bottomline is that whenever it is, we are ready to go…so I ignore d dates and focus on living everyday like its my last, u should too!
So my people, that’s about it for this edition sha, u can like to tune in next time, same place i.e same BB or PC or Mobile Phone to view d next post. If this or any other post has been a ‘blessing’ to you, pls tell your friends abourrit…

And for my GBAGAUN seekers, heres a piece of advice from the deepest crevices of my pulmonary artery located near the palpitation producing organ aptly called Mon Coeur (French for my heart)…If iz paining you that im blogging or theres Gbagaun here, I can’t say u shd go and hug transformer cos nowadays PHCN have succeeded in ensuring there’s steady supply of NO power so u can try sending Yahoo Messenger message to report me…mtscheeew!!!#OkBye