You know that feeling of wanting something so much that you become ecstatic when you get it? Well, that's not what this post is about.
This right here is about making choices between things you want so much and whether variety actually helps make the decision easier..ah well, I really don't know the idea behind this post, I can only say that its different from any I've written because I write this from a hard place where my emotions can only be poured out and expressed as words on your screen.
I don't even know how to put this codedly so you dear reader won't know I'm talking from personal experience but since I got u here, I must as well just blurt it all out, abi? Well here goes,
I'm a go-getter kind of guy because I normally get anything I set my heart or sights on. (The 'Secret' is one book/Movie that does work for me).. and so as the year started, like I said in a previous post, I didn't set any goals, I just decided to flow with d tide. As my birthday (in January) approached, I became engrossed with something that I really wanted. I wasn't clear as yet if this was a 'want' or a 'need' and so I decided to allow 'Time' work its magic.
Its a common saying in this part of the world that "Time waits for no man..or woman", I daresay I learnt this the hard way. While I was waiting for some conviction as to whether I should 'pursue' this want/need, I was totally oblivious of the fact that as long as an item is displayed in a 'showglass', every other person can see it and they also might have equal desire to get it! Heck! That's why its called a showglass innit?
Here I was on a window shopping spree, but now staring at the one thing that had totally captured my heart. It was/is beautiful, heavenly, I could hear the 'ave maria' just beholding its beauty. It called out to me "take me kelvin" and I longed to heed that call. I began scheming on how I was going to turn this desire to an acquisition, transfixed as though under a spell…my senses conspired in one great conspiracy. The general consensus was clear:"I just had to get this!" but…
"Focus creates Blindness"… "but the blind can't focus"-----kelvin
If you've ever window shopped, you'll agree with me that u're faced with several options and more than one can catch your eye. Blindness is not necessarily the lack of sight but rather the absence of vision. And when you're 'shopping', variety of choices often causes a di-vision (which of course is divided vision) There's always that 'first' option and the 'second' or 'next best thing'. I had seen the 'second' but was hell bent on getting the 'first'. Nothing else mattered, it was get it or die trying. Nevertheless though, the 'second' had registered as it always does in my subconscious. So, I successfully pooled my resources together and headed back to the shop after a week to give myself the best birthday present ever. I skipped happily all the way, already imagining how beautiful life was about to become. The sky looked bluer, the grass greener and not even the annoying bus conductor could wreck my historic day. I got to the shop, walked in briskly, head high, turned to look at the spot where my prized desire was and then I saw it : "SOLD OUT…OUT OF STOCK!"
"WTF!" (What's This For?) "WTH!" (What's This Here?) "SHIT!" (Shaking Head In errr…*insert any appropriate T word*)
"When the desirable isn't available…" "omo, na to relax sure pass o!"----kelvin
'Sold out!' 'Out of Stock?' how? When? Why? Have you ever seen those kids that were flogged and are 'crying', mouth open but no words or tears come out? Just a squeezed, contoured face? Yeah… that's how I felt..Did this deter me in my attempt to get my 'desire'? YES! It did..how can you even ask such a question? And then like clockwork, my brain did a quick refresh and switched like a Tv channel to that subconscious option..the 'second' and so I strolled home downtrodden and thinking of what might have been. I didn't like the emptiness so I decided to 'replace' it immediately…with the second.
Much as I tried, my 'love' for my 'first love' didn't diminish, rather the craving increased..i was like an addict devoid of his drugs, I pictured, imagined, thought of how life would be beautiful if only...I hung on, believing...but who was I deceiving? I made up my mind, My first love is gone...I should 'purchase' the second choice, I had 'counted the costs' and was about to go back to the shop when I had a discussion with my 'conscience'..I knew that 2nd can never be first...Long story short and months later, the desire for the first had even grown stronger...nothing else mattered! It was first or nothing! I was going to bid my time..and hope!
"Hope springs eternal"… "just don't stay hoping till eternity, that's a LONG thing"-----kelvin
So here as I write this, I write with mixed feelings because now the 'first' is 'available' and I definitely am not going to dull this time..I'm not exactly ecstatic but I'm deeply excited...waiting for something can either increase your desire or tire you out as a result of the wait duration. In my case though, this is a wait worth waiting…soon, hopefully I can tap myself on the back and say that "patience and persistence pays"
I really don't know why I'm writing this, it just came in the spur of the moment and what better place to pen it for posterity sake than here on blogville.
Rejoice with me guys, I'm happy I waited for the Slim PS3 rather than settle for the Xbox!
"Don't judge the beginning or content till you get to the end"----kelvin
*sidenote: Happy birthday tomorrow (April 6th) to Blogville's finest laide @exschoolnerd Olabode...
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